


Demons don't wear Sweaters

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, Collegestuck, Demons, Demonstuck, F/F, Family Issues, M/M, Magic-Users, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re forgetting one other tiny but really fucking important detail here, Rose.”<br/>She quirked an eyebrow at him, “Oh?”<br/>“We go to a goddamn Catholic college in the middle of motherfucking Texas, home base of religious crazies, demon hunters, exorcists, and just about anybody you can think of that’d cause problems for people like us.” Dave angrily gestured towards his eyewear, “Hell, I’d probably be murdered on the spot for having red eyes if I didn’t wear shades everywhere like a insufferable prick. How the fucking hell do you expect us to hide demons here?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "There'll be problems." -meddling twin sister, also water is wet, bears shit in the woods, im so surprised goddamn

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, here's hoping this isn't too terrible.

“Rose.”

“Yes, dear brother?”

Dave stared at his twin sister with the most blank look he could manage. It was hard with her sitting in front of a pentagram drawn on the floor, looking about as innocent a devil in church. Dave immediately regretted thinking up a demon metaphor to describe possible demon summoning activity. Man, that was just unoriginal but he decided to chalk it up to his nerves. Dave hated absolutely everything to do with demons. He’d gotten into a lot of shenanigans in his short nineteen years but he drew the line at demonic activities because of past issues. Problems that he’d thought Rose would let him deal with on his own. He angrily gestured to the scene behind her, “The fuck?”

Dave stood as far to the edge of the room as possible to avoid stepping in the demonic circle. The pentagram Rose had drawn in white chalk was significant enough in size that she’d had to move the apartment’s couch almost into the small hallway. It extended across the entire expanse of the small living room, just barely stopping where the kitchen tiles began. Of course, this effectively blocked any escape route to his room that Dave had. Their rooms were on opposite sides at the end of the hall. Even though the on-campus apartments were large enough for four people, with two each sharing a room, Rose had insisted that they don’t get other roommates. At that moment, she’d cryptically said all would be explained in time.

Rose raised one perfectly arched eyebrow at him, “Would you prefer the extensive explanation or the abridged version?”

“Let’s keep this shit short and sweet.” He said through gritted teeth, “And don’t even think about turning that into a sex joke when I’m this pissed at you.” Rose frowned as her instinctual snark died in her throat.

“Very well.” She adjusted her position from sitting crosslegged until she was on her knees with her hands neatly folded in her lap. Then, her intense purple eyes locked with his through his shades. “If you don’t bond to a demon now there’ll be problems.”

He threw his hands up in the air sarcastically, “Well shit, color me convinced. Did you know the color of convinced is razzmatazz? It’s a little known fact even to snarky broads like yourself, but it is an undeniable truth. Melting down a shit ton of razzmatazz Crayola crayons and pouring the molten hot liquid over my body until I’m a fucking screaming razzmatazz puddle of flesh and goo couldn’t color me more convinced than I am right now.”

“I will be sure to write that down in lavish detail later on.”

“Alright, you do that.”

“Now back to the situation at hand. I have high insight that you will die next Friday at exactly four thirteen pm in your preferred coffee shop while ordering the largest apple cider that you can get you’re addicted hands on. Before you can even take a sip of the much awaited beverage, you’ll have a stroke. The apple cider will tragically end up on the floor and absorbed into your clothes. Plus, the whole ordeal will happen in front of John, your best friend and the man you previously had your first gay crush on before being kindly rejected. The poor soul.” She paused to make sure she had Dave’s attention, “That is, if you don’t form a trivial bond with a creature of the underworld before that fated Friday afternoon. What’s a little demonic spawn to deal with compared to dying in front of your best friend, hm?”

Dave shot back, “Couldn’t I just avoid John and the coffee shop like the plague and die in peace, away from you probably, now that you’ve told me this? Like call in sick all like ‘cough cough yeah I’m totally sick can’t you tell?’ Like damn, Rose, you need to learn to tag your spoiler alerts.”

“I doubt that you would need to call in since you’re, surprisingly, an adult in college. And calling in usually warrants catching up on missed work which is something I doubt a dead Dave would be excellent at.”

“Well, ya never know until ya try necromancy, Lalonde.”

Rose shook her head in exasperation, “All right, enough of the usual horse shit. I might as well get to the point that will change your mind since you have always cared for others’ wellbeing more than your own, much to my irk and disdain.”

Dave frowned, “What point?”

“You are not the only one who will die at exactly four thirteen in the afternoon on Sunday if you don’t summon a demon like those of our bloodline are supposed to.”

“Wait. _Our?_ ” Dave felt his heart catch in his throat, “You don’t mean…?”

“I will be enjoying a lovely horror book in the library when four thirteen rolls around. Of course, I’ll be in a rather quiet corner and it’ll take an hour or so for me to be found. I probably wouldn’t have even been discovered that soon if it wasn’t for the fact that my twin brother died at the exact same time in a public space.” She explained as she checked her black nails for chips in the paint. “The newspapers will have quite the heyday with the so-called ‘twins dying at the same time’ phenomena.”

Dave stared at her for a long minute, “You’re sure that’ll happen?”

“Merely sharing a womb with you has resigned me to this fate. Although I was born to be a seer, it seems there used to be a third in the womb with us.”

“A third?”

“Your identical twin. Unfortunately for him, he was reabsorbed by me before he had a chance to develop beyond significant stages of development. Which, in turn, made me a chimera in the genetic department. I was born a seer still, but my entire circulation system is filled with the blood of a demon summoner. Your blood. However, blood isn’t enough to summon demons. My hypothesis is that there are some connections that your brain possesses that mine does not.”

Dave grimaced, “What are even the odds of that bullshit happening?”

 “I guess you could say that its one of those rare instances that twins always seem to roll the dice for. At least, that’s always how it seems to transpire in the large number of fiction novels that I’ve perused.”

He raised an eyebrow at his sister, “Do you specifically search for books with twins as the main characters in them?”

“Sometimes.” Rose replied thoughtfully, “I find that it helps me make connections with the characters in a snappier fashion.” 

Dave sighed as he rubbed at his temples, “Why does it have to happen before this Sunday? Ya know, besides the whole dropping stone cold dead in public spaces bullshit?”

“The demons we’ve always been connected to will be slaughtered in the underworld at that exact time for reasons that are currently unclear to me. What I do know is that if they die prematurely so shall we and vice versa.”

“You’re forgetting one other tiny but really fucking important detail here, Rose.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him, “Oh?”

“We go to a goddamn Catholic college in the middle of motherfucking Texas, home base of religious crazies, demon hunters, exorcists, and just about anybody you can think of that’d cause problems for people like us.” Dave angrily gestured towards his eyewear, “Hell, I’d probably be murdered on the spot for having red eyes if I didn’t wear shades everywhere like a insufferable prick. How the fucking hell do you expect us to hide demons here?”

“I’m aware of all that, Strider.” She growled at him, “But, I think dealing with those problems as they come along sounds a lot fucking better than being dead before our lives barely begin.” A flicker of panic crossed her face, revealing how deeply shaken she actually was from seeing their lives end abruptly in a vision. “Not to mention, dying before we get the chance to be siblings for awhile.”

Dave chewed on his lip. He knew she was right about everything, as usual, but he still didn’t like it. “Are we really going to summon demons here of all places though? Can we go somewhere off campus? I so fucking do NOT want to summon demons in a place where it feels like Jesus himself will come bitchslap me for trying.”

Rose rolled her eyes at him, “Fine, you big baby. We’ll find a nice quiet children’s park or forest at midnight to summon demons like the heathens we were born to be. Happy?”

Dave dropped his face into his hands. “Just peachy,” he groaned. What choice did he have? He couldn’t let his sister die just because she got fucked over in the genetics department. Even if it meant dealing with his demons for the rest of his life (and making terrible wordplay about it).

Rose sighed at the floor, “Does this mean I meticulously drew all this for nothing? What a pain.”

“You’re a pain.” Dave said to his hands. He didn’t even bother moving when Rose got up to smack him in the shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave is bisexual but he wasn’t aware of it until moving to college and developing the gayest crush of all time on John. However, John kindly let him down due to the fact that he’s already dating Roxy, Dave and Rose’s half-sister in this AU. Dave got over it and they remained good friends.
> 
> And yes, Rose and Dave were separated at birth. More details to come but all you need to know right now is that they're living together in college to catch up on lost time.
> 
> The whole chimera twin thing is rare but biologically possible. Yay for science in paranormal fic!
> 
> So, yeah, comments, questions, and constructive criticism are appreciated.
> 
> -Rogue


	2. “Demons ruin everything they touch.” -My Idiot Brother who I’m suddenly very concerned about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're off to summon some demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you guys read any further, I’d just like to clarify this is just as much Rose’s story as it is Dave’s. Why? Because I love them as shit siblings. Which means I’m going to attempt to give them (and their respective relationships) similar screen time. We’ll see how well that goes but I love all of them equally. Hopefully, it won’t be too difficult. (Basically, Rosemary fans have no fear, it will not be a background relationship.)
> 
> Also sorry for the long wait, college and work took the entirety of my focus for a while. But, hopefully, more writing will happen this summer depending on how distracting video games are. Which is a lot. So far. Feel free to pester or yell at me on my main tumblr blog, deadly-sevens, if you get impatient. (Seriously, please do. My procrastination levels continue to astound me.)

Dave sat in the corner of his lofted bed, leaning into the crook of the wall, with his knees drawn up to his chest. He stared downward at the extra mattress across the room. It felt strange knowing that, by the end of the day, it would be occupied by a creature that he despised above all others. Plus, another one of the monsters would be living with his sister across the hall. Dave dug his nails into the sides of his knees at the thought. Well, at least they’d be separated at night so they couldn’t plan anything sneaky behind his back. 

Honestly, he’d thought that he’d never have to use his abilities once in his life. It was almost too typical how he had little choice in the matter. Just like he’d had little choice over his Bro’s taste in babysitters as a kid. Dualscar probably rose out of a special place in hell to be Bro’s perfect match. He’d made Dave’s childhood an absolute fucking joy.

Honestly, Dave thought that the ability to summon demons was useless. All it did was attract the wrong attention, give you a troublesome demon to deal with, and make life in general way too difficult. If Rose’s life wasn’t at stake as well, he was pretty sure he would’ve just let nature run it’s grisly course. Most of his annoyance was directed at the fact that kicking the bucket wasn’t an option. Hell, he’d play soccer with the bucket rather than summon a demon. It was truly incredible how little he valued his own life. He wasn’t suicidal, but he really didn’t give a shit about when it all ended.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

TT: Dave, stop sulking like a depressed bat in your loft.

TT: I've pulled the car around to the front of the apartments. Please hurry up so we can get this over with and not die tomorrow.

TT: I believe I have all the necessary supplies but retrieve anything suspicious I may have left lying around on your way out.

TT: Also, we have a long road trip ahead of us, so be prepared for a very long psychoanalysis session.

TG: yay just like ancient preteen times

TG: i am so fucking stoked i almost fell off my loft

TG: you almost just caused the tragedy we're trying to prevent rose

TG: i am shocked

TT: Don't you dare start rambling while I'm waiting in the car. 

TT: To quote in a way you would comprehend, "Get your shit together, bro."

TG: k be down in a sec

Without hesitating, Dave jumped straight off his loft to feel the terror of falling for a good foot and a half. His feet jarringly hit the ground in a way that made him dance the jitters out of his bones for a few seconds. He looked around his room quick to see if there was anything he was forgetting, even though he knew that Rose probably had everything they needed. Instead, his eyes ended up falling on the second bed again. Rose had left a bundle of sheets on it for him to put on the bed. They were his old sheets with the four card suits on them. These sheets were amongst some of the few things that he’d kept from his childhood. The reason he’d kept the sheets was because Dirk, his awesome older half-brother, had been kind enough to get them so he didn’t have to deal with scratchy ones.

And now some punk ass demon was going to be sleeping on them.

 

~~~

 

“I still believe I would’ve done just fine driving us.” Rose huffed almost to herself. Her car was a rather flashy purple Mustang that her mother had insisted on giving to her for her 18th birthday. But, it was her flashy piece of shit (that she secretly loved). She crossed her arms over her chest to further express her indignation, even though Dave was clearly focused on the intense highway traffic before him.

Although, she could still hear the frown in his voice, “Hell no, you lived out in the backwoods of New York for the first eighteen years of your life. I’d be surprised and impressed if you could navigate your way through a medium sized township on the back of a sentient horse narrating where you should go while looking out for traffic. Neigh neigh snarky broad we’re going to turn lef-OH SHIT A CAR. And then the horse and you are fucking dead because who the hell decided it was a good idea to entrust their safety to a horse.”

Rose rolled her eyes straight to the heavens before sighing, “Would you like me to direct you with my oh so terrible sense of guidance then, Strider?”

“…Yeah.”

She shook her head silently to herself as she pulled up the directions on her smartphone. Dave was what her mother called a ‘motor mouth’. He never asked directly for help. The only way he’d ever really implied that he wanted help was through rambling off absurd metaphors. Actually, he tended to imply many things with his metaphors. But, it was a code that Rose had deciphered a long time ago through psychoanalysis and too much time on her hands. 

“Take the next exit to your right.” She instructed as she squinted at overhead road signs. Rose checked the next turn on the list of directions before tucking her phone underneath her thigh.

Her eyebrows creased together as she stared at her twin brother out of the corner of her eye. Dave hadn’t been this on edge since he’d first moved in with her. (Not that she was all that scary, but he’d still been convinced she’d hex him in his sleep or something.) His hands were clenched on the steering wheel like it was a wild animal that might try to struggle out of his grasp. Instead of his usual stoic face, his face was clenched in a scowl to rival Scrooge’s. It was a bit nerve-racking seeing him that way, especially while he was in the driver’s seat.

To calm herself, Rose decided to compare her own features with his. This was a game that she’d played so many times that she’d memorized how it went. She hadn’t meant for it to become a habit. Rose just immediately started comparing her own features to her twin’s upon meeting him. It had inadvertently become a calming ritual of sorts. 

First, she compared their skin colors. Both of them passed for tan white people without much trouble, even though they had Mexican heritage from their dad’s (Bro’s) side of the family. Although, Dave’s skin was maybe a shade or two darker than her own. According to Dave, he’d stood out in his family because of his lighter skin and hair. Meanwhile, she’d always been a shade darker. People often asked her if she tanned when she was with her family. Her (very white) mother had attempted to throw her a quinceañera with moderate success. Rose counted it because although it hadn’t been on the traditional side, her mother was surprisingly more sober for it. Other than those events, her heritage had had little impact on her life. 

Next, she compared their hair. They’d both inherited pale blonde hair from Rose’s mother. Dave had recently taken to undercuts with remaining top hair being stylishly messy. Her own hair was a bit longer of a bob than she typically had. She’d gotten lazy in cutting it over the summer before deciding to just leave it. 

Rose found their facial features to be scarily similar. They both had straight noses, similar eye shape, and the same cupid’s bow shaped lips. Dave was only a few inches taller than her, which she loved to mess with occasionally by wearing heels. To be fair, she was a bit taller than average due to genetics. Dave was about six foot after all. Her five foot ten frame made her feel like a bit of an Amazon sometimes.

All in all, Rose had known Dave was her brother the second she’d first seen a picture of him. 

“So, where exactly are we going?” Dave’s irritated voice interrupted her thoughts.

She braced herself, “Padre Island, a national park a few miles south of Corpus Christi.”

“…Is that a fucking pun on both my heritage and where the demon gene came from?”

“Yes, unintentional, but yes.”

“Usually, I’d have my ironic lil mitts all over that shit but today I just…”

Rose turned her head to stare out the window, “Yeah, I know.”

 

They’d been driving in silence for about an hour before Rose got up her courage to finally ask her brother a question that’d been on her mind for years. Any other time before the current had seemed inappropriate, been none of her business, or Dave would shut down at the sheer mention of it. But, now she needed to understand for both of their sakes or things could go horribly wrong in the future.

She started out gently, “Dave?”

“…Yeah?” He’d already picked up on her tone, apparently.

“What made you hate demons so much?” Rose figured dancing around the main point was, well, pointless.

Tension suddenly filled the air with force of a door slamming shut. Dave seemed to be breathing through his nose just a bit more, a sign of distress on his part. His fingers gripped and loosened on the steering wheel. His eyes were fixed on the road with the viciousness of a hawk. Rose kept her own posture relaxed and open. It was very important for her to not mirror his distress or it would increase. Being a psychology minor had its perks sometimes.

Finally, he said, “Are you sure you want to know?”

Rose answered tactfully, “No, but I feel like it may be important for me to understand.”

Dave was silent for a long while before giving a single nod. He carefully licked his lips before starting with, “You know that the ability to summon demons is hereditary, right?”

“Yes.”

He laughed dryly once, “Yeah but you probably only know thanks to your weird seer powers right?” When she didn’t respond he continued, “Otherwise, those up top would rather have people believe that demon summoning abilities are granted to evil magic users.”

“Why is that?”

He shrugged, “Fear? Hatred? Demons are assholes? No one I know like me, meaning my jerkass relatives, knows for sure.”

“So, Dirk and your Bro, our biological father, have the same ability?” Rose pushed carefully.

“Yeah. Bro has always had this demon called Dualscar around. Or at least thats the name we called him. Dirk and I don’t know his actual name. But, he has two scars that go across his face and we had to refer to him as something. He was a dick to both of us growing up.” 

“And Dirk?”

Dave frowned, “Dirk got really sick of Dualscar’s shit when he was about fourteen. So, he got a bunch of shit together to summon his own demon, hoping for someone that could kick Shitscar’s ass.” He sighed, “Instead, he got this skinny fucker named Sollux who looked like he couldn’t take a punch if his shit depended on it.” Dave shrugged, “He turned out to be a genius at computers though. Dirk and him spent most of their time working on robotics and programming after that.”

Rose stared at her brother. She knew Dave wasn’t giving out all the details, but it wasn’t hard to fill in the blanks. Dualscar had obviously used both of the brothers as punching bags. It would certainly explain her brother’s fighting ability. She also had the sinking feeling that, after Dirk became busy with his own demon, Dave became Dualscar’s sole punching bag.

She subtly voiced this through the question, “Why’d you never attempt to summon your own demon until now?”

“Because it sure as hell didn’t help the FIRST FUCKING TIME!” He snapped, baring his teeth in a snarl. Realizing that he’d yelled at her, he mumbled a soft apology. He then stared straight ahead, “Demons ruin everything they touch.”

Rose suddenly felt very uneasy, and a tad guilty, about this whole demon summoning business. Mostly, she was very concerned about her brother. Not knowing what else to do, Rose offered a silent prayer to any gods that may exist to please let this work out in the end.

 

~~~

 

Dave stood solemnly on a sand dune, surveying the beach for people, and being annoyed that there was sand in his converse. Ocean waves crashed loudly on the beach. He’d been annoyed by the wind lashing through his hair the moment he’d gotten out of Rose’s fancy ass car. His hoodie had immediately gone over his head both because of the wind and the illicit activities he was about to get up to.

His sister stood next to him, long flowing black skirt whipping in the wind. Her hands were on her hips, black lips pursed as she also surveyed the expanse of white sand in front of them. Neither of them had spoken a word in a while. But, they’d already silently agreed that this spot would do fine. No one was around for miles, the sun was setting, and they had everything they needed. They wouldn’t be bothered, discovered, or persecuted. 

Yet, neither of them wanted to take the initiative. It was kind of similar to when he was about to sign up for college. His entire life was about to change dramatically. Was he ready for it? But, unlike now, he’d been more ready than Spongebob. So, they stood there, watching the sunset behind angry waves. After all, what was one more demon free sunset when the deed would be done by tomorrow morning? Damn peaceful is what it was. Maybe the last Dave would get for a long while.

Besides, there was something very relaxing about being at the beach.

As the sun slowly reached about three-quarters of the way behind the ocean, his sister gently grabbed his sleeve. “We should set up before it gets too dark to see anything.” Rose said quietly, almost sadly.

Dave felt a sudden wave of angry hatred at the world for getting his best blood-related friend involved in its bullshit. He wanted to scream profanities at the sky and throw stones into the ocean until his voice was hoarse. Instead, he took a deep breath and replied, “Yeah, okay.”

After a brief run to the car, Rose handed him a ratty, rolled-up rug. Actually, rug was not the right word to use. The edges of it were frayed but there were little plastic bits poking at his hands. It was a piece of carpet that had been cut from its original home. Suddenly, he felt icy-hot chills go up and down his spine before settling in his gut.

“Rose.”

“Yes?”

“What exactly am I holding?”

“A piece of carpet with a pentagram drawn on it with the blood of an unknown species.” She explained in a casual tone, “According to the book I read, its been used in many demon summonings.”

Dave immediately dropped it in the sand. “Holy fuck no.” He rubbed his hands on his pants to remove the feel of taint from touching it. “Rose, no, just no. That is not what is used to summon demons unless you wanna be corrupted then sure go right the fuck ahead. Please burn this turd from humanity first chance you get.”

She gave him a confused look, “Why?”

“That blood on it if its the legit shit? Human.” He pushed his shades to the top of his head to make eye contact with her, “More than likely from a demon summoner like me.”

Rose gave the carpet a look of shock, “What? But why-”

“A demon summoner can do just what their name implies with only a little fucking effort.” Dave made the sign against evil at the offending item, one of the few habits related to magic that he’d picked up from Bro and kept. “For other magical assholes to pull it off, a group of five is needed. One for each point of the pentagram, drawn upside down to invoke hell of course. But, an actual demon summoner has to be killed and have all their blood stolen. Then, the idiots start summoning things that were never meant to be here ever and die more often than not. It’s just another danger that we get to watch out for and boy howdy is it great.”

“Well, how are you going to summon them then?” Rose scoffed.

“First, we’re going to need lots and lots of sticks and driftwood.” Dave informed her.

“Sticks?”

“Sticks.”

“For what?”

“One hella weird bonfire.”

Weird bonfire were probably the only words he could find to describe the summoners circle. No one really knew where the technique originated from due to cultural history being absolutely decimated by others. Of course, there were guesses at the lost history. Dirk had thought that it might’ve been an ancient druid technique. Dave was skeptical merely because there was so little known about them. Besides, it was difficult to trace that heritage to his own. Sure, they could’ve come from Europe to Mexico but it can’t be proven. He thought it was possible it could’ve come from any of a number of ancient Latin American cultures. He thought that considering that the Mayans had human sacrifice. Maybe another one had demon summoning as a high priority? Maybe all of them did?

The point was the ritual was old as shit, kept relatively secret by being passed down from family members, and its origins were a huge ass question mark that gave Dave a headache to think about. It was also really simple to put together. Driftwood, sticks, logs, or branches were weaved together into a heptagon formation. Each side represented a weakness of man. Dave guessed this was where the idea of seven deadly sins originated. But, in the context of the ritual, it was more widely believed to represent inescapable human weaknesses that we’d all experience at one small or large point in our lives.

Then, he’d light the formation on fire to represent demons destroying man or some shit. He’d also fling his own blood on there to assure his own destruction. Or, ya know, to summon the demons. Same difference in his eyes.

Either way, they now had a very nice looking heptagon (or heptogram as Rose had started calling it) made out of sun-bleached driftwood. It had grown completely dark outside, save for the stars and half moon. He’d kicked off his converse to avoid getting sand in them hours ago. But now the sand almost felt like tiny ice crystals shifting in-between his toes. It had gotten so chilly out that Dave had retrieved a sweater that’d been in the trunk of Rose’s car. The sweater was something he’d gotten because of what he’d thought had been a grey 69 on the front. He was not been about the kind of life where he let such good middle school humor nostalgia slip through fingers. Later on, Rose had crushed his dreams by informing him that it was the astrological sign for Cancer. It had lay forgotten in the trunk ever since. Well, up until now anyway.

“Did you get it all covered in shaving cream and blood?” Rose called from across the heptogram. Putting spots of his and Rose’s blood at each of the points was key in calling the right demons to the portal. They weren’t entirely sure if it would go without a hitch since they’d never heard anything about two summoners calling their demon familiars at the same time. Then again, they didn’t hear much about summoners without the word execution being tacked on.

Also, they couldn’t find any lighter fluid. But, luckily, shaving cream happens to really fucking flammable. Dave knew this thanks to one of John’s pranks going severely awry. Thankfully, no one was hurt and the property damage was minimal. It was worth seeing how surprised John was at the destructive capabilities of shaving cream. 

“Yeah.” Dave shouted back as he finished putting a bandage on his finger. “Summonin' these goddamn demons. Fuckin’ pain in the ass.” He continued to mumble to himself.

“If you’re done whining, then I’d relish the chance to get this show on the road.” Rose sighed in the darkness, “It isn’t exactly getting any warmer without our hellish bonfire.”

“Don’t start getting coy with me, Lalonde. I’m getting to it.” Dave growled as he struck a match. He stared at it for a few brief seconds. This tiny fire stick was the spark that was going to fuck over his life for all eternity. It was overwhelming to think about. He suddenly wanted to call Dirk, just to talk to someone who kinda got it. Despite their differing opinions on demons, his brother would still be able to calm him down a little.

Dave flicked the match onto the heptagram.

Instantly, the shaving cream ignited with a whooshing sound. The driftwood began to crackle angrily with green, blue, and red flames. The multiple colors was a result of the salt and other ocean materials soaked into the wood. Johnny Cash’s famous song ‘Ring of Fire’ started obnoxiously blasting in his head. If this had been a sweet party instead of a hell extravaganza then he probably would’ve started singing it in his deepest possible voice to make his friends laugh.

“Well?” Rose said from his right side, making him jump, “Are you going to apply some of your magic or just stand there staring at it all night?”

“I think we both know which one I’d rather fucking do.” Dave replied bitterly as he raised his hands.

The dark red aura that burst from his hands felt very different from his time magic. It felt ancient, wild, and otherworldly. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. There were strange whisperings in the air that he couldn’t quite make out. He was almost having a hard time believing that he’d produced such a strange energy. Dave watched with wide eyes as the magic slowly twisted its way towards summoning circle. Out of the corner of his eye, Rose was staring intently at the energy with a hungry look of curiosity. Somehow, he found that more unsettling than the magic itself. Thank fuck she wasn’t able to do this shit. 

As soon as the energy touched the blue flames, their color immediately changed to match the energy it came in contact with.  The flames grew to twice their height while crackling angrily. Dave sucked in a gasp of shock as they formed a molten dome. The surface swirled rapidly, leaving him with a sense of motion sickness. Finally, just when he couldn’t take it anymore, a rumbling crack resounded through his skull. Abruptly, the flames vanished along with the heptagram.

Leaving two figures laying unconscious in the white sand.

Dave felt exhausted from releasing so much magical energy at once but stumbled forward to take a closer look anyways. He had to push his shades up to squint at them in the dark. They both had grey skin, horns, and minimal dark clothing. The small, nubby-horned male wore only dark shorts and a gray wrap on his lower body. The tall female wore a double-slitted black skirt and black sports bra. Neither of them had a fucking clue what shoes were. No doubt, they were demons. He’d succeeded.

Pushing away self-hatred for a second, he squinted at them a bit more. He realized, with a bit of surprise, that both demons were covered in bruises, scrapes, and other minor injuries. Well, at least this made it easier to determine what their blood colors were. The girl had odd jade colored blood while the male had normal red blood. Wait, back up. Scratch out the word normal. Demons never had normal blood. Shitscar’s was purple. Sollux's was yellow. Maybe that wasn’t a big enough candidate pool to determine demon facts but he’d been pretty damned sure. 

“I was expecting…different.” Rose said over his shoulder.

Dave raised an eyebrow at her, “Like what?”

“More beastly from the way you described demons, I suppose.”

Before he could answer, the male demon’s eyes snapped open. Irises redder than his own established eye contact with him. The silence was deadening for a several moments. Finally, the demon raged loudly around a mouthful of sharp teeth, “Well, it’s about fucking time, you braindead pretentious bulgesucker!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you really need to question why Dave’s homelife was bad if Cronus/Dualscar was involved on a daily basis? Lmao.
> 
> Anyways, now I can write Karkat being an insulting little shit and Kanaya trying her best to win the twins over. Hopefully, that'll be easier to write.
> 
> ~Rogue


	3. “If you expect me to scream road trip rabidly as is the cliche you are sadly fucking mistaken.” -Karkat aka local pain in the ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone collectively goes, "Well??? Now what the fuck are we gonna do???" and look at Dave. Luckily, he will come up with 'hte paln'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, Karkat makes everything difficult and everyone groans collectively. My aesthetic. But first, Rose and Kanaya be adorable. Also my aesthetic.

 

Within two seconds, Rose and Dave learned that the smaller demon loved yelling profanities for the entire world to hear. Within four, she learned that he also loved shouting his complaints to the sky. Within thirty, the demon managed to get her brother to relinquish his cancer sweater because ‘his shame globes were frozen fucking solid’. It was way too large on him and looked a little ridiculous. She really hadn’t imagined she’d ever see a terror of hell wearing a fluffy sweater of all things. 

Within a minute, this demon was clinging to her brother’s back for warmth while he looked extremely unhappy about it. “Fuck your dimension and its lack of basic heating. What the hell is wrong with your planet? Last I heard, it was suffering from some shit called global warming. Well, apparently that crisis was fucking averted! Lucky me! The universe has come down once again from its lofty perch in the heavens to softly whisper, ‘Ya know what, fuck you in particular, you pathetic snot-flicking garbage.’ And then the douche ascends back home while flipping me off with both hands like a classy tool.”

“Oh my god, shut the hell up and get off me.” Dave finally snapped.

“No, fuck you. You brought me to this sad dimension so you get the goddamn honor of warming up my disgusting flesh suit. This is your prize for taking three and a half sweeps to summon me and making me endure so much suffering in the meantime. You get the loser prize and, fuck you, you don’t get to play this stupid carnival game again.” He started pounding Dave’s back with his fists, “Fuck you for taking so goddamn long! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck! You!”

Dave gave her a look that said, ‘Please help me. I’m being attacked by a gremlin.’

The most graceful creature Rose had ever laid eyes on wordlessly walked over and effortlessly pulled the small demon off of her brother. She opened a delicately fanged mouth to say, “Karkat, shush. You’ve used a sizable chunk of this dimension’s atmosphere to make your point. Please calm down for a while or I fear we’ll all prematurely expire from lack of oxygen.” She paused before awkwardly adding on, “Because you used it all.” 

“Yes, Kanaya, I got the joke.” The demon, Karkat, rolled his eyes at her. He did seem more calm but still irritated. Which was odd to look at considering this Kanaya was holding him away from her under the armpits. He just sort of dangled there like an annoyed cat.

Interesting.

It took a little effort but they finally got everyone into Rose’s car, with her driving this time. The demons had been wary of it, considering they’d never seen one before. Rose tried to be patient with them, but they only had so many hours of darkness left to get back to the apartment unseen. Eventually, they gave up in the face of her persistence and piled into the back. Feeling bad, Rose had noticed that Kanaya seemed as cold as Karkat was. However, she wasn’t vocalizing her complaints like the other did. Rose fetched her car’s emergency blanket from the trunk and wordlessly handed it to Kanaya. So, with two demons in tow, they started their journey back home.

“Ah.” Kanaya’s voice echoed from behind her, “Excuse me but I forgot to ask what your names are?”

“I’m Rose Lalonde,” She answered. Rose looked over at her brother who had promptly passed out in the passenger seat, “And the comatose one is my brother, Dave Strider.”

“Pleasure,” Kanaya said enthusiastically, “Really, it’s quite lovely to be in this dimension at last, despite the complaining of a certain someone. But, regardless, I’m Kanaya Maryam and the loud but also currently unconscious one is Karkat Vantas.”

Rose found herself blown away by how adorable Kanaya’s way of speaking was. Perhaps this arrangement wouldn’t be so bad after all. However, her brother’s words echoed sinisterly in her mind.

‘Demons ruin everything they touch.’

 

When they arrived back at the apartments, Kanaya had no trouble slinging her small companion over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Rose wasn’t anywhere near confident enough in her physical strength to do the same to her brother. Instead, she woke Dave up enough that she could sling one of his arms over her shoulder to guide him up the steps. He stumbled a few times and whined incoherently the whole way but they eventually made it to the front door. Kanaya was kind enough to open the door for her. Although, it took her a few tries to figure out how keys worked. Still, it was quicker than Rose doing it herself as Dave continued to get sleepier and, by consequence, heavier.

The second Kanaya entered the room she looked in awe at her surroundings. Her head pivoted in every direction, too excited to focus on one object for too long. She turned to look at Rose with wide jade eyes, “This is where you live?”

Rose tilted her head in confusion at Kanaya’s reaction as she guided her practically unconscious brother towards his room. “Yes?” She responded, “But, as far you could be aware of, we could actually be wayward vagabonds that break into a different empty apartment every night to make our sinister nest.”

“I-is that a common practice in this dimension?”

“No. Don’t be anxious, we live here.” Rose told her as she kicked open Dave’s room with her foot. She led him to his loft ladder before saying in a ridiculous voice, “Go on, boy! Time for bed! We can’t have you all tiredy wiredy in the morning!”

Dave tossed his shades on his desk before looking her in the eye to slur wearily, “Fuck off.” She watched with amusement as he crawled into his loft. A few seconds later, he dropped his forgotten shoes onto the floor. Well, that was one less problem to worry about. Now, she proceeded to being simply the best sister there is by taking care of all these goddamn demons.

She looked over at the other bed to notice that Dave had forgottten to make the bed ahead of time. Either that, or he was too busy brooding about it to give two shits. It didn’t really matter because both causes led to the effect of Rose being annoyed at one in the morning. Which would lead to another effect of her picking on her brother tomorrow. She peeked out of the corner of her eye at Kanaya who was standing awkwardly in the doorway with her friend still slung over her shoulder.

Fuck.

Well, this was going to be very inelegant and a bit mortifying. It would be very rude of her to have a guest prepare the bed, on the other hand. So, Rose got to work on putting the sheets on the mattress. This went on for a few minutes in total silence. As she was putting the cover on the pillow, Kanaya made an ‘ahem’ noise. Rose stopped what she was doing with a raised eyebrow.

“Um, well, I was just speculating if you perhaps could spare a blanket?” Kanaya asked, not making eye contact, “We can just take up a small corner and not be too much of a bother.”

Rose blinked in confusion. Did Kanaya think she wasn’t allowed a decent place to sleep? In Rose’s domain? The place where her brother pretty much ‘stayed the fuck out of her way’ because of her surprising passion for interior decorating? Why? “…This bed is for your passed out friend.” She finally responded dumbly.

Kanaya immediately looked concerned, “But, then where will you sleep?” There was absolutely no sign of consideration for herself. It was endearing but also irksome that she didn’t seem to care much for her own wellbeing.

“We,” Rose emphasized the word, “will be sleeping in my room across the hall.”

Kanaya gaped at her, “Do…do we all get our own sleeping platforms?”

“Yes…?” Rose answered with creased eyebrows.

The pretty demon seemed to be flabbergasted at the news. She silently stared at Rose with a mixed look of bewilderment and gratefulness. To Rose’s astonishment, translucent jade tears welled up in her bright jade eyes. “I…We haven’t slept on a sleeping platform since we were 6 sweeps old.” Kanaya whispered in a choked-up voice.

Rose had no idea how much time the unit ‘sweep’ represented. It had to be more than a few years, though, judging by the female demon’s reaction. She really didn’t know how to react to this sudden display of emotion at one in the morning. So, Rose just pulled back the covers of the newly-made bed’s sheets and gestured at Kanaya to put the short demon there.

The lithe demon girl gently placed the other demon in the bed. In a very motherly fashion, she tightly tucked him into bed. Kanaya seemed to thoughtfully inspect her work before giving the male demon a pillow to grip in his sleep. She whispered, almost to herself, “I do hope he doesn’t have any nightmares. This is the first time he’s slept without me in,” She paused to count on her fingers, “three and a half sweeps?” Her fanged mouth twisted down in concern.

Rose made a mental note to herself to figure out how long a sweep was. For now, she guided her ashen-skinned guest lightly by the arm to her own room. She couldn’t help noticing how much cooler Kanaya’s body temperature was compared to her own. Rose supposed she’d have to find out what a demon’s regular body temperature was for in case they got sick in the future.

As if voicing her own thoughts, “Do all humans have such high body temperatures?” Kanaya asked as Rose opened her bedroom door.

Rose couldn’t help herself. She turned to raise an eyebrow suggestively at the, undeniably, beautiful demon. “Well, most of the time, but depending on many factors they can,” She paused in amusement, “fluctuate.” A jade blush began covering Kanaya’s entire face. Rose had to resist the urge to giggle at how cute her reaction was. Oh yes, this arrangement wasn’t going to be terrible at all if her harmless teasing had this much of an effect on the demon girl. Kanaya’s face was so green that she almost looked like an ill cartoon. Maybe if the shade of green was a bit lighter in color, but it was too rich of a green for that. If the pretty demon had blood vessels in her orange horns, Rose was certain those would have turned green as well. Smoothly, Rose added on, “Do all demons have cooler body temperatures than humans?”

“Well, um,” Kanaya stuttered in response as they entered her room, “it all is dependent on what color your blood is.” She squeaked as Rose lead her into her room, “The higher you are on the hemospectrum, the colder your body temperature is.” The demon looked around with wide eyes while adding on, “I’m somewhere in the middle.” Before Rose could ask where her companion what a hemospectrum was, “Is this sleeping platform mine?”

“Yes.” Rose answered, glancing over at the bed. She’d outfitted it with her spare dark purple sheets. She then started digging around in her drawers, “I’m not too worried about you sleeping in that top but your skirt is so elegant that it would be a real shame to wrinkle it.” Rose finally pulled out a pair of cotton pajama bottoms with cute bats on them. She hummed approvingly, “These should do.”

The demon girl picked at her skirt, “While I appreciate the sentiment, this skirt has been through a lot more than mere wrinkles.” Rose finally noticed how worn down it was, especially at the frayed ends. It was difficult to say for sure in the dark but Rose was also pretty certain it was stained. Possibly with a lot of colors? Before she could ask, Kanaya smiled brightly, “It will be nice sleep in something else actually.”

Rose furrowed her eyebrows in concern, “If your skirt is in that bad of shape, then do you need a shirt of some sort as well?” Before her new roommate could answer, she began rummaging through her drawer until she found a spare tank top. “Considering how much skinnier you are than myself, it might be a little big but it’ll work for tonight.” Rose purposefully handed over the pajamas, feeling satisfied with herself.

“I,” Kanaya began, “don’t know what to say.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing to be concerned about.” She assured Rose, “I just haven’t been treated this nicely in…well, I can’t actually seem to recall how long.”

Rose silently thought that treating someone as nice as Kanaya so poorly should be a crime punishable by jail time. She was having trouble putting those thoughts into words so instead she said seriously, “Well, as long as you’re around me, you’ll have a bed to sleep in, multiple sets of clothes to your name, and food in your stomach.”

Kanaya gave her a gentle, fanged smile, “I suppose I’ll be around you for awhile then, hm?”

 

~~~~~~~

Dave woke up to several things that morning. The first thing he became aware of was the angry pounding beat on the inside of his skull. He groaned as he realized that the rest of his body felt just as heavy and terrible. Dirk had a similar reaction after his summoning so he couldn’t say he was entirely surprised. But, that wasn’t going to stop him from whining twice as much to annoy Rose. It’s what Dirk would’ve wanted. Dave made a mental note to call him later so he could complain at him too. 

Next, he noticed soft snoring to his right on the ground. Unwillingly, he slowly rolled over and opened his eyes. Sunlight immediately stabbed knives into his sensitive eyes. His headache became worse but he gritted his teeth. He was determined to get a good look at one of the creatures they’d brought home last night. Squinting down, he realized the demon was the loud long-winded one.

What was his name again? Car Cart? Carrot? Cat Lord? Oh, right, it was Karkat. He was the smallest demon he’d seen so far, only coming up to Dave’s shoulder. He knew it wasn’t because he was younger though. All demons and their summoners were about the same age since they were born in the same year. Karkat’s hair was long, messy, and almost obscured his nubby orange horns. Of course, his best feature was that he was currently passed the fuck out and therefore not throwing a temper tantrum. But, Dave was in the same room as him.

Great.

He’d have to be extra quiet while exiting his room. The longer he didn’t have to interact with the problem the better. Of course, that was going to be made fucking difficult by the fact that his loft was squeakier than the Tinman’s ass. Dave peeled all his covers off his body, noting that he hadn’t changed into pajamas last night. Then, slowly, he started to slide backwards towards his loft ladder. He resisted the urge to groan as his sore muscles protested at the slow agony he was putting them through. He sat up next to his ladder, causing the loft to make a small squeak. 

Dave froze. He glanced at the demon in the other bed. Karkat’s face scrunched up briefly before he rolled over to face the wall. He let out a sigh of relief. Then, he focused his attention back to the ladder. Maybe, quickly going down it would reduce noise. There was absolutely no way this horrible headache was impairing his judgement on making executive ladder decisions in any way, shape, or form. This was going to go so smoothly that some criminal out there would raise an eyebrow out of how impressed they were. Hell yeah, let’s do this shit.

Tinman’s ass then proceeded to dance the loudest, sassiest jig that it could. The sound of the screeching metal caused people miles around to cover their ears as it grated on their eardrums. Dave, now on the floor, could only cringe in dismayed shame at his own idiocy.

He couldn’t have predicted his new roommate’s reaction though.

Karkat jumped to his feet on the bed with a guttural yell. His limbs became tangled in the sheets as he panicked. His legs flailed as he was thrown off balance by the soft mattress before he finally fell on the ground. From there, Karkat continued to make a spectacular mess of himself with the sheets he dragged with him.

Dave discovered that he had no knowledge on how to deal with panicking floor demons. So, he kinda just stood there staring at the problem. As it continued to worsen, he slowly picked up his shades off his desk and placed them on his face. The situation looked almost exactly the same with shades on his face. Why did he think that would’ve changed anything?

“All senior citizens should have life alert.” Dave suddenly heard himself say in a deep voice. He paused with a frown. Why the fuck did words come out of his mouth when he wasn’t paying attention?

The struggling demon stopped, lifted his head off the floor, and wildly looked about until he made eye contact with Dave. The first thing he noticed was that Karkat’s eyes were a brighter red than his own. Of course, they could’ve just seemed intense due to the demon’s yellow sclera and dark eyelashes. Still, it didn’t currently change the fact that they were boring into him with the fury of a thousand wasps.

After a long moment, Dave tentatively said, “Good morning?”

“Good...” The demon growled through his teeth, “morning?” He angrily threw the sheets off of his small body, “It was a great fucking morning up until I was conscious and had to start dealing with your bullshit way of waking me up.” He got up off the ground with his hands balled up into fists.

“Trust me when I say that you staying unconscious for a while longer would be ideal as fuck.” Dave replied cooly.

The demon bared a mouthful of teeth at him, “Then why am I awake? Riddle me that, you human sack of shit.”

Dave sighed. If he didn’t have a massive headache maybe he would’ve genuinely enjoyed riling this asshole up more. But, really, he just wanted some tylenol and breakfast. “Would some food pacify your loud shouty ass?” He just asked tiredly.

The demon frowned as he considered Dave’s tone of voice. After a long moment, he crossed his arms over his chest with his eyes on the ground. “Maybe,” Karkat grumbled, “if you’re decently quick about it.”

So, Dave made his way down the hall with the temporarily pacified demon in tow. Dave knew he should probably be a bit more concerned about having said demon around permanently. Ya know, especially since he was obviously so well in touch with his inner Buddha. But, he currently just really wanted some fucking pancakes and bacon. It’s not like the problem was going anywhere.

His sister and the other demon were already awake. They were seated in the living room and-oh my god. Rose had already made pancakes and bacon. Holy shit, he really loved having a weird psychic sister sometimes. She’d even set out tylenol for him already. Even better, she’d turned the tv on to Steven Universe. Good sister. Best friend.

The female demon turned towards them, “Karkat! You have to try this human food. What they said about human food tasting delicious compared to home food is so true that I teared up a little bit.” What did she say her name was? Dave knew it also started with a K. Kenya? Kanye? 

Karkat rolled his eyes at his friend, “If you say so, Kanaya.” Okay, that name was way better than whatever the fuck Dave had been coming up with.

“The bacon is especially heavenly.” She continued telling him excitedly while Dave piled food on two plates.

He handed off one of the plates to Karkat. Immediately, the demon went over to sit next to his friend on the futon. Meanwhile, Dave took his painkillers in one gulp of apple juice. Then, he turned to see Rose leaning on the counter next to him. She already knew he wanted to have a word privately. 

“Isn’t she adorable?” Rose whispered while staring at Kanaya, who was explaining the tv show to Karkat. The smaller demon was too absorbed in his breakfast to give much response though.

Dave rolled his eyes and grumbled incoherently in response. Rose stared expectantly at him with a raised eyebrow. After shoving some bacon in his mouth, he said, “We’re gonna have to get them some damn good disguise spells. Which means dropping everything and going home for the rest of the summer. Mom is the only one I trust that could do it.”

Rose sighed and crossed her arms, “I figured you’d say as much.”

“Figured or saw, ya freaky psychic?” He nudged her playfully while indicating at his meal with a flick of his head.

“Perhaps both, you discount time lord.”

“Harsh.”

“So, when should we leave?”

“Tonight. That should be long enough to call our jobs and say an awful family emergency has cropped up like our mom fell in a well or some shit. Lassie told our asses and fuck if we’re gonna ignore Lassie.” Dave cut his tangent short to shove pancakes into his mouth.

“Let me guess, pack what we need and have movers get the rest later?” Rose asked quietly. Dave nodded, mouth completely full. “Are we telling mom or surprising her this time?”

“Let’s surprise the shit out of her. She always gets super excited and forgets to drink for like a day.”

They were both silent for a long moment. “So,” Rose finally dragged out, “Road trip?”

“Motherfucking road trip.” Dave said, dropping his empty plate in the sink.

“If you expect me to scream road trip rabidly as is the cliché you are sadly fucking mistaken.” A voice cut in.

“Karkat!” Kanaya hissed as Dave turned to look towards the couch.

“Considering that we’ll be traveling for a few days, I wouldn’t expect you to be.” Rose said calmly.

Kanaya scrunched her eyebrows, “A few days?”

“Okay, fuck that.” Karkat suddenly growled, “I’ve been dragging my ass around to avoid dying for three and a half sweeps to be summoned by that lazy shitmouth. I thought this place was supposed to be our permanent goddamn home? Did you assholes plan anything out or are you just that incompetent?”

Dave ground his teeth as an unreasonable amount of rage at the demon overcame him. Rose shot him a concerned look. Kanaya put her hand on Karkat’s shoulder as she also noticed his change in demeanor. Karkat ignored her, looking Dave in the face with an angry look. Dave snapped back, “No! Nothing was fucking planned for! If I had it my way, nothing ever would’ve been fucking planned for! The only fucking reason either of you are here is because I didn’t want my sister to fucking die!” Dave didn’t care that he was now yelling, “I don’t give a shit about either of you, is that crystal fucking clear?!” A hand suddenly gripped his shoulder, “What?!”

He turned to look at Rose who just quietly said, “Dave.”

He looked back over at the pair of demons who were staring back with shocked, hurt expressions. Dave pushed away the small part of him that felt terrible. He brushed off his sister’s hand.

“Where are you going?” She asked as he made his way towards the hall.

“Bathroom.”

 

Dave could hear Rose doing damage control in the other room. Meanwhile, he was staring at Dirk’s contact info on his phone screen while sitting against a wall in the bathroom. He still felt so angry. Dirk was gonna know something was up right away. But, really, who else could he fucking turn to at this point? That other asshole? Yeah right.

He hit the call button and put the phone to his ear. It ringed three times before someone picked up. “Hello, athhole.” A raspy voice answered.

Dave resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room. “Hey, Sollux,” He practically growled, “I’m really not in the fucking mood for your shit. Put Dirk on.”

He heard a voice in the background. Sollux yelled away from the phone, “Your athhole brother ith on the line.”

A few minutes later, “Hello? Dave?”

“Hey bro,” He paused to swallow, “You know how you told me I’d have to take care of our shared problem one day whether I’d like it or not?”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck you.”

There was silence on the other end for a moment. “Would I be right in guessing that you’re heading to your mom’s and Roxy’s place soon?” Dirk asked him.

Dave leaned his head back until it rested on the wall, “You’d be spot fucking on. We leave tonight.”

“Do you need me there?” His brother asked. Dave could tell he was worried even if he didn’t sound like it.

“Yeah,” Dave answered before adding on, “I’ve been acting like an asshole.”

“Okay,” Dirk said, “can you at least try to chill the fuck out on the way up?”

“I don’t know.” Dave answered truthfully.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose is one smooth criminal when it comes to flirting. Kanaya has not had the luxury of flirting ever due to previous circumstances in her own life. Basically, Kanaya the badass is flustered and I am entertained. Meanwhile, Dave and Karkat are assholes to each other. Nice.  
> Also, of course Dave and Rose would like Steven’s Universe unironically. It warms Rose’s cold gay heart in particular.
> 
> Next up, Karkat screams 'are we there yet?' a lot and everyone's sanity suffers.
> 
> ~Rogue


End file.
